And another one just for fun(when I was bored on a Sunday, that means without makeup)
I tested out how my clip-in extensions looked. Still didn't wear them in public. What do you think?
Okay enough lol.
Because when we moved here I didn't have friends and all my 'old friend' had fun while I was sitting in my room feeling sorry for myself. One of the worst things you can do. But luckily I have the best friends I could ever dreamed off, No it's true. How many people would still try to make contact, put so much effort in one circle of friends? After their friend moved 59.952 Miles away just tell me? Usually a person would try for what 3/4 months? in the beginning to keep the contact, but after a while they just give up. And I have to admit I would do the same if it wasn't for a close friend. The best part is that it isn't just one friend, no. All 8 friends. Yes sounds like I don't have many friends, but good friends can only be counted on 2 hands (or 1 lol).
They visit me, I visit them. We still have sleepovers/slumber party's, And they still invite me to shop with them even if that's a 2/3 hour train ride for a half day of shopping. And I'm incredibly grateful for that. The only thing I truly regret is that I didn't had the confidence to show myself, make new friends and enjoy my new environment.
I know I can be socially awkward sometimes, quite, observing, shy and introvert, but if I just 'showed' more of myself I know I would have made 'closer' friends (near me) who I could call just to hang out with me. Hey that was a big mistake and I learned from it. Certainly not going to do that when I'm in my new school. Oh and another positive thingy. I'M RELEASED OF THE 'NOT SO SMART GIRL IN MY CLASS'. How can I not be grateful for that.
Another thing that I experienced is lost. My step grandmother passed away. 'She lost the battle against cancer', but that doesn't mean she lost her life. If you know what I mean. She has wonderful children. She welcomed my mother and her family in her own family. Cared for us. Even treated us like we were here her own grandchildren. I have to say, because of her I feel like I am her grandchild.
When my sister and I said goodbye to her on her deathbed, she said: I wish we met earlier so that I would have known you better than
I now do. She said more things but I'll keep that private. I made a drawing for her. It wasn't even finished. I feel like a lazy pig because I could finished it earlier if I wasn't that lazy.. All the time I put in useless stuff I just could have draw the picture of her. When I showed her the unfinished drawing she said it was beautiful and recognized herself in it. And maybe 'the unborn' will look like that. (When we frame the drawing I will post it.) She'll keep it as reminder. When she said that she almost made me cry. But then my sister started crying really bad and I started too. We gave her a kiss and a hug when we left. With the thought of: this is the last time talking to her. No more short visits, no more joking about my laziness, no more nothing. She would go into a deep sleep.
They'd let her sleep and in her sleep she would pas away without pain. She slept for 2 almost 3 days and past away today.. 23.06.2012. The last time I spoke to her was Thursday the 21st.
21st of June. Exactly 6 years ago she found out she had cancer.
The reason why we got that close in a short amount of time was because she lived next to us. She was our grandma-neighbor. If I baked pie or cake or any kind of sweet thing. I would bring it to her on my bare feet or socks. And she would do the same. She would come over on birthdays and random days. Daily. I never met a woman that kind. I'll miss her
Just to make it less awkward lol,
Because every time a read a sad post I sit there just in silence, feeling awkward...
Hope it works!
(ps. Sorry for the grammar haha)
